From: MBri547285@aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 1999 9:15 PM
To: I_am_mad_too@mail.bmwlemon.com
Subject: 540i

After reading some of these stories, mine doesn't seem too bad but it still
makes me wonder how BMW sells all those cars if this is the best they can do.
Leased a new '94 540i in August '94.  Thankfully I negotiated the full
maintainence package at the  time of the lease.   All I paid for was gas, one
set of tires and front brakes (not done at the dealer).  After three weeks,
the remote door lock/alarm system started to malfunction.  It wouldn't unlock
with the remote but if you used the key after arming the system with the
remote, the alarm went off and the ignition cut off.  You could lock/unlock
and arm/disarm with the key and everything was fine, but at random intervals,
say one in 30 times, the remote malfunctioned.  Tried both remote keys to no
avail.  BMW Roadside assistance hauled it in on a flatbed and the dealer gave
me a new loaner.  Not only could the BMW service personnel not find or fix the
problem, the car was back five times before they would admit there was a
problem.  They acted like I didn't know how to use the remote!  How insulting.
So for the life of the three year lease, I used the key to arm the alarm,
rather than get locked out.  They replaced the module, switches, re-programed
this and that, all to no  avail.  

This next one is beyond belief.  It had the 5 speed auto which is a "learning
transmission".  The harder you drove, the more agressive it programed your up
shifts.  Also during spirited driving, say going into a corner, when you would
lift and brake, it would not upshift, giving the hold back feel of a manual.
Great until this feature malfunctioned and the thing would not upshift at all
after you floored it.  I'm talking serious WOT here, red line, rev limiter.
No up shift!  Same as the alarm problem.  The service department treated me
like an idiot.  Said the problem didn't exist even after numerous times at the
shop.  Finally I was able to pursuade the mechanic who had been working on it
last to go for a ride.  He observed the problem but they still didn't have a
clue.  This was near the end of my lease and since I was tired of dropping it
off at the dealer to find out nothing had been done, I learned how to "drive
around the problem,"  and continued to drive the piss out of it and turn it
in.

It was fast and fun to drive, but these stupid problems THAT CAN'T BE FIXED on
a new $50,000 auto are completely unacceptable.  Also the paint was dull from
the git-go.  Underwhelming!

Adios,
Mike Bristow      
Mbri547285@aol.com